Good Thing, Bad Thing, Who Knows

I've been having some mental back-and-forth regarding my decision not to seek employment after my contract ended. I wanted to be done with the contract and focus on doing what I wanted. However, I also feel that how I valued myself came from being "employed."

My struggle was so great at first that I sought out new positions. I was willing to interview for one of the positions offered, with my final decision depending on the work location, which was not disclosed. This confirmed my recent belief that the universe is taking care of me.

This belief began as a joke during my last trip to Japan. During my vacation, I learned a lot. Much of my time was spent meeting people willing to guide me, making me reluctant to return to Saudi Arabia. Everything was in place for me to begin living my dream in Japan, yet I returned to work. My motivation was that I would not receive full financial benefits for my time if I departed before completing ten years of service.

Immediately upon my return, I began to feel uneasy in my work environment. After a few weeks of this, I asked my supervisor to look into my contract status and learned that it was ending. The contract ended in a way that left me entitled to my full benefits. Two weeks later, I was back in Japan.

This was when some job offers came my way. The people offering them should have disclosed essential information such as pay and location. Without this information, I ultimately chose to stay away and strive toward my reason for being in Japan.

Now, with time to focus on what I want to do, I have aimed to spend more time reading. While reading some of the early pages of Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty, I came across a line that read, "Good thing, bad thing, who knows." This statement left me reflecting on how I react to things outside my control.

I was angry when I first learned what had happened with my contract. I could have stayed in Japan during my vacation instead of returning. However, returning allowed me to say my goodbyes to people I grew close with while in Saudi Arabia. I was frustrated with the lack of information surrounding the job offers, yet this allowed me to notice that I was being pulled back in, allowing me to back off.

Hindsight provides the opportunity to see that things that we view as bad at the moment have results that benefit us. In this instance, hindsight allowed me to see that my contract ending grants me the time needed to focus on myself. The passage in the book used the words "good thing, bad thing, who knows" to advocate for accepting things as they are without judgment. I first had to navigate my timeline backward to grasp the author's intent fully. For that journey, I am thankful.